Manners in Society

Remaining calm in the face of criticism During the caliphate of Umar, Muslims began, with their increasing affluence, to settle huge dowries (mahr) 5 on their daughters. In his capacity as Caliph, Umar ordered, one day, in the course of a sermon, that these should not exceed four hundred dirhams, and that anything in excess of this would be confiscated and deposited in the Treasury. When he had come down from the pulpit, on the completion of his address, a tall, flat-nosed old woman stood up and declared: “The Qur’an has set no restrictions on this matter: Umar has no right to set an upper limit to the dowers.” She also recited a verse of the Qur’an to back up her contention: “If you decide to take one wife in place of another, do not take from her the dowry you have given her, even if it be a talent of gold.” (4:20) Umar’s immediate reaction on hearing this was to say: “A woman has quarrelled with Umar and has bested him.” According to another account, Umar said, “May God forgive me. Everyone knows better than Umar. Even this old woman.” Umar returned to the pulpit. Addressing the people, he withdrew the restriction he had previously imposed on dowries. It was for individuals to decide how much was to be given. But he tempered this permission with the admonition that if large dowries were a sign of honour and eminence, the Prophet would have been the first to give his approval to them, whereas, in fact, he gave only up to four hundred dirhams. (AHMAD, AL-TIRMIDHI) Note: 5. The dowry or settlement of money or property on the wife, without which marraige is not legal.