Do Not Provoke

Do Not Provoke harshness. Experience has shown that harshness often yields the opposite of what one wants, while gentleness leads to results that are helpful and positive. Imagine a simple scene at a train station. Two men are walking—one in front, the other behind. The man behind is carrying a large trunk. As he hurries forward, the trunk hits the foot of the man in front, causing him to fall onto the platform. The man behind immediately stopped and, embarrassed, said: “Excuse me.” Hearing this, the man in front relaxed and replied: “OK, no harm done.” Both then continued on their way. Now imagine the opposite. Suppose, in the same situation, both become angry. One shouts, “Are you blind?” The other retorts, “You are ill-mannered, you don’t know how to speak!” If such words are exchanged, the quarrel will escalate until they fight. At first, only dust was on their clothes; later, blood may be on their bodies. At first, only their clothes were torn; later, their bones may be broken. Whether in family life or outside, whether in disputes within a nation or between nations—the principle remains the same. Gentleness and generosity of spirit end conflicts; harshness only makes them worse. Gentleness is like pouring water on a fire; harshness is like pouring gasoline on it. The first puts out the flames, while the second makes them burn brighter.