Reactive versus Reflective Response

HAJR JAMEEL (GRACEFUL AVOIDANCE) and moderate response is to listen with an open mind and reflect on it calmly. If the criticism is incorrect, you should respond with reason; if it is valid, then you should accept it clearly. By contrast, becoming upset on hearing criticism is an unbalanced and unnatural response. The first reaction shows a troubled mindset, while the second indicates a healthy one. Similarly, becoming upset when hearing an opposing slogan, reacting angrily to disrespect, feeling frustrated by obstacles, or being unable to accept ideas different from your own are all examples of emotional reactions. People with these tendencies often remain stuck in hatred and violence against others. They fail to recognize the positive and constructive side of life. On the other hand, the second approach involves a nonemotional reaction. This is what the Quran calls hajr jameel —graceful avoidance. It means that when something happens against your temperament, you should stay calm, think it through with a clear mind, and respond with careful and deliberate reasoning. There are different ways to respond moderately. One way might be to simply ignore it. In everyday language, this is expressed by the saying: dogs bark, but the elephant keeps walking.