The Value of Forgiveness

others. But this is an unwise reaction. The better plan is to examine one’s own role in the affair. In other words, if you are having some sad experience, don’t focus on the other party. Think about your own self and adopt a course of action which is better for you. At many times in our lives we are faced with two kinds of choices – anti-other thinking and pro-self thinking. Anti-other thinking makes you descend to the animal level, whereas pro-self thinking elevates you to a higher plane of human behaviour. If forgiveness is a full stop, revenge is punctuated by commas. Forgiveness means ending an unwanted situation, while taking revenge means endlessly extending it. Forgiveness maintains your positive thinking uninterruptedly, while revenge fosters negativity. And negative thinking can lead to all kinds of evil actions. Some would argue that forgiveness does not always work, and that it is better to adopt the tit for tat policy. But tit-for-tat is not a real solution; it does not end the problem, it only leads to a chain of action and reaction. Forgiveness puts an end to the problem once and for all, while a tit-for-tat policy only aggravates and prolongs it. There are those who will argue that the policy of forgiveness will only encourage others to indulge in further wrongdoing against us. But this is a flimsy supposition and, moreover, runs counter to the law of nature. Psychological studies show that every human being is born with an ego and a conscience. If you follow the tit-for-tat policy, it arouses the ego of the other party,