The Wisdom of Life

How can a person identify his shortcomings? I n order to identify one’s own shortcomings, we must possess an objective mindset and should not get offended by what another person tells us about ourselves. We should imagine the other person to be like a mirror, which gives us an exact reflection of ourselves. Either one becomes angry on criticism or overjoyed upon being praised; both these situations are improper. Criticism should be welcomed and due thought should be given to the message being conveyed without becoming disturbed by its tenor. However, one gets offended when one’s ego is touched and that happens even when someone speaks the truth. Being a realist does not only mean to not react, as our dormant ego may still get aroused on provocation. A true realist is one who has an awakened mind, one that is able to gauge the slightest of deviation from the path of realism. He accepts feedback as it is and introspects to realize and overcome his shortcomings. How do I control my anger? I have spent significant time on this topic and my conclusion is that nature has instilled a special mechanism in a person by which he can control his anger. When angry, all one has to do is observe silence. Anger incites a psychological fire within a person and in the resulting rage, he is not able to control himself. But when one becomes silent in moments of anger, the rage instantly begins to take a downward trend. So, when someone provokes us, we must simply become quiet. At all such times, I myself do not react and I have experienced that anger takes no time in subsiding. Reaction leads to chain reaction and not reacting stops the chain reaction, but in order to stop the chain reaction, one needs the power of self-control. Only the spiritually strong can break the chain reaction in a situation involving provocation and rage. It is a sign of great strength. As per a tradition of the Prophet Muhammad: The strong man is not one who is good at wrestling, but the strong man is one who controls himself in a fit of rage. (Sahih al-Bukhari, hadith no. 5763) It has also been alluded to in the Quran that one may earn a position in Paradise by being forgiving at times of anger: for those who spend, both in prosperity and adversity, who restrain their anger and are forgiving towards their fellow men—God loves those who do good works. (Quran 3:135)