THE IDEAL LIFE COMPANION

the Prophet: “If I should ever live to see that day, I should surely help you.”70 ABSOLUTE FREEDOM Zihar was an old pagan custom among the Arabs which permitted a husband to nullify his wife’s right to consider herself his lawful spouse. All he had to do was utter the words, “anti ‘alayiya ka zahr ummi,” meaning, “be to me as my mother’s back.” He was then free of conjugal responsibilities, but the wife was not thereby set free to leave her husband’s home or to contract a second marriage. It happened once in Medina that a Muslim by the name of Aws ibn as-Samit cast off his wife, Khawlah bint Tha’labah, by uttering the fateful words. This was particularly hard on Khawlah, who loved her husband and had little children to support. She lacked the means to provide for her children, but, according to the convention of zihar, she could not claim any support from her husband. She came, therefore, to the Prophet, laid the whole case before him and urged him to assist her. But, since up to that point no revelation had been made to the Prophet on this subject, he could only reply that she was no longer the lawful wife of her husband. On hearing this, Khawlah began to lament the ruin of her home and the penury into which she and her children would sink. She also told the Prophet that her husband had not expressly stated that he was divorcing her. But the Prophet could give her no positive answer because he thought that by Arab custom, the separation must already have taken place. Then Khawlah could only weep and pray to God to save her from ruin.71 It was on this occasion that the surah 58 of the Qur’an entitled, al-Mujadilah (She Who Pleaded), was revealed. It begins with these words: God has indeed heard the statement of the woman who pleads with thee concerning her husband, and carries her complaint to God. And God always hears the argument between both sides among you, for God hears and sees all things.72 On the basis of this revelation, the justice of her plea was recognized, and this iniquitous custom, based as it was on a false set of values, was finally abolished. Much later, when Khawlah was an old woman, she once met ‘Umar ibn al-Khattab, who had by that time become the Caliph of the Islamic Empire. ‘Umar greeted her and she returned his greeting. Then she said: “O ‘Umar, there was a time when I saw you in the marketplace of ‘Ukaz. Then you were called ‘Umayr73 and you would set your goats to grazing with a stick in your hand. Then, the times changed and you came to be called ‘Umar. Later you became the Chief of the Faithful. Be God-fearing in dealing with your subjects and remember, that for one who fears God’s chastisement, a distantly related man is like a close relative; and one who does not fear death risks the loss of all that he seeks to gain.” One Jarud Abdi, who was in the company of ‘Umar at that time, exclaimed, “O woman, you