The Rights of Husband and Wife

173-184 Woman Between Islam And Western Society CHAPTER 6 The Rights of Husband and Wife The Qur’an states: “They (women) are your garments. And you (men) are their garments.”1 These words from the holy scriptures define how men and women relate to each other — like body and its garments. Without garments a body is meaningless, and without a body garments are meaningless. The two must go together, for apart they have little reason to exist. This symbolizes the closeness of the two sexes in the material and. spiritual senses. How beautiful a bird appears with its feathers, but if all the feathers are to be removed, it would be totally disfigured. The importance of the feather to the bird is similar to the importance of the garment to a man. A man without a garment is just like a bird without its feathers. This example of garments shows the great importance men and women have for each other, (or, without each other, they are incomplete. They are the closest of companions — a relationship which is both natural and inevitable. Each derives strength from the other, and each acts as a shield for the other. They are described by a commentator of the Qur’an as “fitting into each other as a garment fits the body.”2 Men and women were created to find sexual attraction in one another. The Qur’an makes this point in these words: And among His Signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that you may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts): Verily in that are Signs for those who reflect.3 It is in the context of this natural relationship that men and women are attracted to each other. This attraction finds expression in the free mixing of men and women. But this goes against the human grain. A man would normally want whatever belonged to him to be reserved for him alone. Free sexual relations are therefore at variance with human nature. It is often said, with justice, that man is a social animal. But more important is the fact that man is an ethical animal. There may be a physical resemblance between human beings and animals, but, from the moral standpoint, man is in a class by himself, animals knowing none of the self-imposed, ethical constraints which govern human lives. It is this ethical sense in man and other civilizational demands which require members of the opposite sex to refrain from establishing free sexual relations. The natural urge to procreate must, according to the shari’ah, be confined within the bonds of wedlock. Men and women are enjoined by the shari’ah to marry (barring certain close relations) and to lead a family life. The Qur’an says: Except for these (prohibited) all others are lawful, provided you seek (them in marriage) with gifts from your property, desiring chastity not lust.4 Sexual attraction between men and women is the result of a natural biological urge. It was to give this relationship legal sanction that the institution of marriage (nikah) was established. Human psychology, biological realities and social considerations all demand