The Rights of Husband and Wife

kind of woman is one who fulfills both these responsibilities. There is a hadith which very aptly says: “Of the worldly goods, there is nothing better than a virtuous wife.”21 GIVING IMPORTANCE TO THE INWARD RATHER THAN THE OUTWARD On the subject of their wives, the Qur’an enjoins men: “Treat them with kindness; for even if you do dislike them it may well be that you may dislike a thing which God has meant for your own good.”22 The same point has been made in a hadith: “No believing man should hate a believing woman. Even if he does not like one of her habits, another of her ways will be of his liking.” 23 To put it differently, this teaching means that even if outwardly unpleasant, a wife should not cause aversion, because God has not made anyone imperfect in all respects. All men and women, if deficient in some respects are gifted in other respects. Once, a newly married man found when he brought his wife home that she was not gifted with feminine graces. Instead of having a slender figure she was stout like a man. He was put off by her not being slim as he would have liked. But events soon took a strange turn. Having met with an accident, he was not able to work hard. Now his stout wife decided to support her husband and worked hard to make money. Being sturdy, she succeeded in earning money as well as looking after the home. In this way the family suffered no setback. Now the husband realized that the woman he had taken as a curse was indeed a blessing in disguise. Although his wife was not gifted with slimness, she had been blessed with another quality which had proved so precious at his time of need. It is this aspect of life which has been emphasized in the Qur’an in these words: Take in marriage these women among you who are single and those of your male and female slaves who are virtuous. If they are poor, God will enrich them from His own abundance.24 There is a hadith to the same effect: ‘God Himself has taken charge of helping three types of person. Those who marry in their desire to preserve their chastity, and those slaves (mukatib) who want to be free by paying the money they owe to their masters, and those who want to fight in the cause of God.”25 BALANCED EDUCATION When there are two parties in any undertaking, it is common for both parties to concentrate on their own personal gain. It is less common for each to think of the other’s good. In the latter case, one’s attention is fixed on one’s responsibilities, while in the former it is on one’s rights. The latter leads one to a higher moral plane while the former leads to evil. When a man’s eyes are on his rights, he holds the other party responsible for everything. As