Success in Marriage

result of her never taking any interest in the household affairs. She had, in fact, never looked upon her in-laws’ house as her own home. To her, home was her parents’ house, even after she was married. Unaware of this, her parents became very critical of the way their daughter had been treated. Like most other parents, they were quite credulous about everything she told them, and, supposing their own child to be in the right, put the entire blame on the in-laws. This led to their becoming entangled in a long feud. The ensuing mental agony took its toll. The girl fell sick, and after a prolonged illness, succumbed to tuberculosis. Thus ended her unhappy life. The other is the case of a wise woman. Initially, she found herself in an unhappy situation in her in-laws’ home because of her unattractive appearance. At first, this was discussed behind her back, but soon she had to suffer the humiliation of open insults from the women of the household. This was very hard on her, but she refrained from telling her parents about it, having decided that she would completely ignore unsavory comments. Instead, she privately resolved to be helpful to the others, and voluntarily took over all of the household work. She cared for the needs of every member of the family and made sure that no one had any reason to complain against her. This was the beginning of a long and trying period. It took not months, but years for things to change. But finally, a stage came when she was the most popular member of the family, having earned everyone’s affection and respect. No better than a maid when she had arrived, she had now become the virtual mistress of the house. The secret of a successful marriage is the ability to forge bonds of loyalty. Such bonds come into being quite naturally with one’s own parents, brothers and sisters. They are so strong that they can never be broken. There can be no doubt about this. But similar bonds do not exist in the in-law’s house. They have to be established. The only solution for the new bride entering her parents-in-law’s home is to transfer her loyalty to all of the people to whom she is now related by marriage. When she says ‘my home’ it should mean her new abode. The focus of her attention should now be her in-laws, from whom she should seek support, rather’ than from her parents. She must become a part of the family and have everyone’s well-being at heart. Experience teaches us that this is the way to make a success of married life. GUARANTEED SOLUTION It is undeniable that happiness in marriage is closely linked with awareness. Awareness can make a marriage. Its absence can mar it. If it were given any serious thought, it would become evident that trouble with the in-laws is a problem created by default. It is also more imaginary than real. Unfortunately ours is not an aware society. And we are paying the price for that in different ways. One of them is the increasing discord between brides and their in-laws.