SUCESS IN A NEW ENVIRONMENT

SUCESS IN A NEW ENVIRONMENT

1987 12 December 11 SUCESS IN A NEW ENVIRONMENT (253) O my daughter, be not haughty, lest that open the gates to divorce. And refrain from showing anger, for that will only breed ill-will.” If things go against her, she must have the fortitude to bear with this, and if her feelings are constantly hurt, she must be the one to forgive and forget.

Abdullah ibn Jafar, one of the Prophet’s companions, gave this piece of advice to his daughter at the time of her marriage: “O my daughter, be not haughty, lest that open the gates to divorce. And refrain from showing anger, for that will only breed ill-will.”

This is the best advice that a father can give to his daughter at the time of her marriage. That is the point in her life when she is leaving the warmth, affection and tolerance of father and mother, brothers and sisters, to go and live in surroundings which can so easily turn hostile to her, particularly when none of her own blood relations are within reach. In her own home, if she was ever proud or angry, people would make allowances, and would be kind and patient with her. But in her husband’s home, the atmosphere would be entirely different, any untoward behaviour on her part would elicit an unfavourable reaction, and her mistakes would not easily be forgiven or forgotten.

In such a situation, the only way that a girl can make a success of her married life is to remain sensitive to the atmosphere of her new home, and to adjust her temperament accordingly. If things go against her, she must have the fortitude to bear with this, and if her feelings are constantly hurt, she must be the one to forgive and forget. This is the only way for her to have a successful life with those now related to her by marriage.