Divorce
Al-Risala (English), May 1990, p. 4
By Maulana Wahiduddin Khan
Maulana Wahiduddin Khan is named as the default author of the periodical; a piece that carries another writer’s byline is credited to that writer.
Divorce
1990 5 May 4-6 Divorce (751)
An abnormal event which takes place in abnormal circumstances.
“Those that renounce their wives on oath must wait four months. If they change their mind, God is forgiving and merciful; but if they decide to divorce them, know that He hears all and knows all.
“Divorced women must wait, keeping themselves from men, three menstrual courses. It is unlawful for them, if they believe in God and the Last Day, to hide what He has created in their wombs: in which case their husbands would do well to take them back, should they desire reconciliation. Women shall with justice have rights similar to those exercised against them, although men have a status above women, God is mighty and wise.” (Qur’an, 2:226-228)
In any household both men and women have rights and responsibilities in equal measure. It is therefore an injustice if one or the other takes advantage of chance circumstances, or makes use of natural advantages to victimize his or her partner in life. It is at such moments that it should be borne in mind that the marriage bond is too serious and too delicate a matter to be constantly jeopardised by the indiscriminate and mindless swearing of oaths. Divorce is an abnormal event which takes place in abnormal circumstances. When it comes about, emotions are bound to run high. But one should be careful not to be carried away by one’s feelings at such a time, and should remain within the limits of propriety. God has decreed that we conduct ourselves properly and with kindness at the critical moment of divorce. Indeed, our conduct throughout life should be based in these very same principles.
The annulment of a marriage should not come as a sudden blow. The divorce procedure should be spread over three stages, reaching completion in as many months. The sober manner in which we should approach this marital crisis is explained in the following verses of the Qur’an.
“Divorce may be pronounced twice, and then a woman must be retained in honour or allowed to go with kindness. It is unlawful for husbands to take from them anything they have given them, unless both fear that they may not be able to keep within the bounds set by God; in which case it shall be no offence for either of them if the wife ransom herself.
“There are the bounds set by God; do not transgress them. Those that transgress the bounds of God are wrongdoers.”
“If a man divorces his wife, he cannot remarry her until she has wedded another man and been divorced by him; in which case it shall be no offence for either of them to return to the other, if they think that they can keep within the limits set by God.”
“Such are the bounds of God. He makes them plain to men of understanding.”
“When you have renounced your wives and they have reached the end of their waiting period, either retain them in honour or let them go with kindness. But you shall not retain them in order to harm them or to wrong them. “Whoever does this wrongs his own soul.”
“Do not make game of God’s revelations. Remember the favours He has bestowed upon you, and the Book and the wisdom he has revealed for your instruction. Fear God and know that he has knowledge of all things.” (2:229-231)
Even after separation, there should be a certain period during which a reconciliation should be considered. And just deciding to put an end to a marriage does not mean at either party should ignore the other’s rights. The rules divorce, in fact, have important lessons to give us not only in this but in other spheres of our lives. From them we can judge what our demeanour should be, no matter when or how we come into conflict in life. Our decisions should never be arrived at in haste, but should be carefully thought out, in a circumspect manner. Then, in our dealings with one another, we should keep strictly to the path God has laid down for us, and should not seek to evade His commands by legal manoeuvrings.
In our implementation of divine law, then, we should have regard not only for the letter of the law but also for its spirit. For example, when a couple separate, no attempt should be made to take back gifts, and the period prior to the final separation should be passed in an amicable manner, with regard for former happier times which the couple have had together.
