The Principle of Avoidance

The Principle of Avoidance

1992 3-4 March-April 5-6 The Principle of Avoidance (512) According to Abu Hurayrah, a man once came and said many unkind things to Abu Bakr. The latter, however, remained silent. The Prophet watched in wonderment and smiled. However when the man went on and on with his abuse, Abu Bakr took him up on some of the things he said. This displeased the Prophet and he got up and left. Later, Abu Bakr went to him and said, “O Messenger of God, you were sitting, looking pleased, when that man was saying all those hurtful things to me. When I chose to reply to some of the things he said, you became angry and left.” The Prophet replied, “When you held your peace, there was an angel who was replying to him. But when you spoke, the angel left and Satan entered.”

If someone says distressing things to you and you pay him back in his own coin, the matter will immediately escalate.

From a wordy duel it will turn into a fracas which will ultimately lead to extremer forms of violence. Bear in mind that it is your retort which leads to its eruption. Conversely, if a man wants actively to do you physical harm, your silence will nip this evil in the bud.

If, in the face of provocation, you keep quiet, the other man will gradually soften up. After letting off steam, he will have nothing left to say. Argument leads to counter argument. If you do not react, the other man is bound to fall silent.

A counter-argument only sets off a chain-reaction. Then Satan is given the opportunity to play upon the two egos in such a way that a minor disagreement is turned into an all-out clash. If, on the other hand, you avoid a confrontation, “your antagonist will mellow down”. Now it is the angel’s turn to awaken the better natures of both parties, to reactivate their consciences, to arouse feelings of guilt and the urge to self-reform.

In the first case, you put the blame on the other person and want to take revenge. There, it is satan who dictates. In the second case, you hold yourself responsible and feel like having a change of heart. There, it is the angel who dictates.

Two forces lie dormant within you. One is your conscience, and that is the one which is in your favour. The other is your ego, and that is the one which is against you. Which one you awaken is entirely up to yourself. Either one can be fostered by your deeds and your utterances. The choice is yours.

Stroke the fires of the ego and you will have nothing but enemies. Nurture the conscience, and all of your adversaries will automatically be overcome.

It is significant that in the above-mentioned incident, the Prophet did not become angry at the man who was berating Abu Bakr. On the contrary, he was displeased when Abu Bakr started reacting to him. The principle of avoidance applies to believers and non-believers alike. It is for the believers to see that it is acted upon.