DIVORCE IN ISLAM

A LTHOUGH Islam permits divorce, it lays great emphasis on it being a concession, and a measure to be resorted to only when there is no alternative. Seeing it in this light, the Prophet Muhammad said, “Of all things permitted, divorce is the most hateful in the sight of God.” When a man and a woman live together as husband and wife, it is but natural that they should have their differences; it being a biological and psychological fact that each man and woman born into this world are by their very nature quite different from each other. That is why the sole method of having unity in this world is to live unitedly in spite of differences. This can be achieved only through patience and tolerance, virtues advocated by the Prophet not only in a general sense, but, more importantly, in the particular context of married life. Without these qualities, there can be no stability in the bond of marriage. According to Abu Hurayrah (Companion of the Prophet), the Prophet said, “No believing man should bear any grudge against a believing woman. If one of her ways is not to his liking, there will be many things about her that would please him.” It is an accepted fact that everyone has their strengths and weaknesses, plus points and minus points. This is equally true of husbands and wives. In the marital situation, the best policy is for each partner to concentrate on the plus points of the other, while ignoring the minus points. If a husband and wife can see the value of this maxim and consciously adopt it as the main guiding principle in their lives, they will have a far better chance of their marriage remaining stable. However, it sometimes happens, that unpleasantness crops up, and goes on increasing between husband and wife, with no apparent indication of their being able to smoothen things out themselves. Their thinking about each other in a way that is conditioned by their maladjustment, prevents them from arriving at a just settlement of their differences based on facts rather than on opinions. In such a case, the best strategy according to the Quran is to introduce a third person who will act as an arbiter. Not having any previous association DIVORCE IN ISLAM Permissible but Disliked In the marital situation, the best policy is for each partner to concentrate on the plus points of the other, while ignoring the minus points.