DOWRY AND DOWER

traditions which encourage increase in the dower, whereas some argue for fixing smaller dowers. In all such cases, Islam lays down guidelines rather than issuing strict commandments. It is left to the circumstances of the groom. There is a well known saying of the Prophet Muhammad, that “the best woman is one whose dower is the easiest to pay”. Another saying refers to such a bride as “the most blessed woman”. “The state of blessedness”, according to a third saying, resides in “her being easy to deal with and the acceptance of dower according to the capacity of the husband”. The second Caliph, Umar ibn al-Khattab, while addressing a gathering asked them to refrain from fixing heavy dowers in marriage. Hearing this, a woman, addressed the Caliph quoting the Quran, “If you have given much wealth to your women do not take anything from it”. (4: 20) In response Umar withdrew his words, saying, “The woman is right, Umar is wrong”. THE COMPANIONS AND THEIR MARRIAGES In the first era of Islam, marriage was a simple affair without pomp or ostentation. Expenditure being minimal, it did not burden either family. There is a saying of the Prophet that “the most blessed marriage is one in which the marriage partners place the least burden on each other". The simplicity of marriage in the Prophet’s days is well illustrated by Abdur Rahman ibn Auf, one of the Prophet’s foremost Companions. He married in Madinah with as little ceremony as possible, not even thinking it necessary to invite the Prophet or the Companions. Imam Ahmad narrates how the Prophet came to know of this. Abdur Rahman ibn Auf came to the Prophet with the scent of saffron upon him. When the Prophet asked him about this, he said, “I have married”. The Prophet then enquired as to how much dower he had given his bride. “Gold equal in weight to one date stone”, he replied. A WRONG CUSTOM Presently the Islamic spirit has almost vanished from the responsibilities of arranging and performing a marriage. Muslims nowadays prefer to follow local custom rather than the guidelines of Islam. A misguided practice is the fixing of heavy dowers—by the brides’ families and considering this as safeguarding the girls’ interests. The Dictionary of Islam says: The most blessed marriage is one in which the marriage partners place the least burden on each other. -Prophet Muhammad