ADJUSTMENT WITH PEOPLE

ADJUSTMENT WITH PEOPLE Healthy Relationships T HERE are many people who are excellent at managing work. They are intelligent and successful. But, the same people are failures when it comes to managing relationships, whether it is with their parents, siblings, spouses or with their children. What is the reason for this failure? Why doesn’t their intelligence or qualification help them to manage their relationships wisely? The answer to this lies in understanding and accepting that the skills required for healthy relationships are totally different from the skills required for success in work and learning. A person who works with the machines has to have two types of skills, one is about the machine and the other is about professional interaction with colleagues— managers and junior colleagues. Both are equally important. Whereas, developing and maintaining healthy relationships—both with family and in professional life—requires skills in the art of life management. The art of life management refers to two things—one is to understand oneself and the other is to be aware of the world around us. Understanding oneself refers to knowing one's capabilities; and being aware of the world around us refers to knowing about human nature and the creation plan of God for humankind. With this knowledge, one may plan one's life in a realistic manner and make improvements whenever and wherever required. To have successful relationships one should give precedence to using reason over emotions. Even in blood relationships, rational management is important. Rational management has to be cultivated through conscious efforts. Every human being is endowed with certain uniqueness. This difference irself is not evil. There is great benefit hidden in it. Differences should be seen as representing different capabilities. If everyone had uniform capabilities they would be able to achieve little. Accepting others’ uniqueness as beneficial is the first skill in cultivating good human relationships. At the very foundation of human life another basic skill to be continuously nurtured is the skill of living a purposeful life. Strange as it may sound, it is very important. Without a purpose, humankind will not have any motivation to avoid unnecessary conflicts with others. Purpose gives direction and a plan which includes maintaining good